Stupididness hates Patent Trolls

May 20, 2006 at 2:16 pm (abortion, amos xmos, blog is dead, criticize, gay, gena gershon, george michael, gleak, hillary clinton, homosexual, illegal immigrants, innovation, jackie chan, john kerry, lesbian, melanie griffith, mr. wizard, myspace, new kids on the block, nkotb, patent, patent troll, pink, small business, stupid, stupididness, tom cruise, Uncategorized, vanna white, webster, whitney houston)

Listen closely…Stupididness hates Patent Trolls.  It would like nothing more than to slay at least 4 beasts of patent every single night.  What are the implications of this deep rooted hatred?  Well, if you hate patent trolls, that means you're on the same side as Stupididness, and that makes you and me very bitter enemies.  The truth is, I hate you.

Let me back up, educate the ignorant amoung us, and then step forward once again.  What is a Patent Troll?  Webster tells us that a patent troll is an individual that obtains patents, but never has the intention of turning the idea into an actual product.  A patent troll does not want to run a business.  A patent troll wants to curl up in a cave, or a bramble thicket, tuck his patents away, and wait for some unlucky, altruistic company to accidentally step on his patent trap, and then H'BLAM!  He sues the pants and/or skirt off of the unsuspecting entity.  Webster says this is wrong because it goes against the very premise of the patent system, which is to protect inventors and increase innovation.  Oh, and when I say Webster, I mean that short black kid that had his own show in the 80s, not like the dictionary guy.  I think Webster was so outspoken about patents because an invention that would have given him normal height was being held hostage by a patent troll. Webster, the patent troll authority
Now, if you say you hate Patent trolls, some of us won't be able to hear your words.  Instead, we'll be tormented with visions of the form of you (Plato) making sweet love to Stupididness.  So don't!  Also, if you hate patent trolls, you must, by extension, hate music trolls.  New Kids on the block - Music Trolls
ROAR!
Webster says that a music troll is an individual that has an amazing vocal gift and can sing such a tender tune that even Whittney would put the crack pipe down and give a listen.  Oh, but the music troll doesn't write music.  No, they just sit around waiting for someone to write them a tune, they belt out a few notes, and then they sit around and watch the money flow in.

 Then there's the lawyer troll.  They don't pass the barr exam for their own benefit.  Rarely do they ever represent themselves in court.  No, they sit around and wait for someone that needs their services to pay them huge sums of money, and then they might find the time to do the whole "practicing the law" thing.  I'm not sure if that metaphor really works, but I don't care.  I'm pissed!

Leave the damn trolls alone.  Some people are good with their hands, some with their feet, some with their mouths and lips, others are attractive, some are manipulative, while others are good at inheriting large family fortunes or marrying rich wives, but the patent troll is all about the power of the mind and ideas.  Let him make a living, eh?  I must insist.  If I don't stop you now, your hunger will only be stimulated when you devour patent troll.  Next you'll be longing for the delicious taste of illegal alien invader Mexicans, and then homosexuals, lesbians, and abortion lovers.  I may disagree with those lifestyles, but they, like the patent troll, deserve not to be eaten.

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@War w/Techdirt.com

May 10, 2006 at 2:37 pm (patent, patent troll, Uncategorized)

techdirt 

Patent Office Has Problems With Infamous JPEG Patent

from the oh,-look-at-that dept

One of the more infamous patent problem situations has been Forgent's claim with a patent that they say covers JPEG image compression. This was a perfect example of a company that clearly had done nothing to help bring about JPEG image compression. The company had found a random patent they had bought from another company, and then retroactively figured it applied to JPEGs. Even the company admits that this patent was a lucky "lottery ticket" to riches — which is not what the patent system is supposed to encourage at all. Still that didn't stop them from going around suing companies and pressuring others to pay for a license they probably didn't need. Last year, a group found some prior art on the patent, and convinced the USPTO to review it. Today comes the news that the patent office has done an initial rejection of some of the broad claims at the heart of the patent. Forgent still gets the chance to respond, and this process is far from over. However, the interesting part is that the examiners believe the original patent filers knew of the specific prior art, and did not disclose it to the USPTO as required. It's yet another argument for having a better system for helping the USPTO understand the prior art and obviousness of a patent before the patent has been issued and can be used to divert money from actual research and innovation to legal fights.

37 Comments | Leave a Comment..

Patent the next level of stupidity by Stupididness on May 29th, 2006 @ 5:21am

I suggest that TechDirt patent the next level of stupidity. I'm talking hardcore stupid, known affectionately as Stupididness. TechDirt has every right to this patent due to the constant Patent Troll hate speech and their crybabyThis, crybabyThat, my patent system is broken rhetoric. They just don't understand that there are those great "idea men" that happen to be lousy business men. The patent system gives them a chance to earn a living from their God given talent. If anything, the process needs to be simplified. You know, there's a 13 year old girl somewhere right now that just thought of the most unique way to prevent child abductions, but people like you make her think that every idea has already been taken, so she doesn't mention the idea to anyone. This JPEG company did help further the JPEG standard. If it didn't, then simply excise the patented section from the JPEG process and it should work just the same.

I'm going to get you, TechDirt. I'm going to expose your patent propoganda if it's the last thing I do!

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Patent = +innovation by Stupididness on May 29th, 2006 @ 5:33am

Of course the patent system leads to an increase in innovation. If your product infringes on an existing patent and you can't afford to license it, what do you do? Give up and apply at Subway? No, you think your way around the patent, often times coming up with something better. Microsoft is releasing an alternative to JPEG: the photo member of the Windows Media family. Perhaps they grew tired of the JPEG license fees. Now they've created a better compression system than what JPEG offers (although I'm not sure if they've added transparency and animation capabilities like GIF //fools//). How many keyboards have you had to replace, as your free flowing patent tears splash about while you type? Why not…INNOVATE!…and offer some reasonable suggestions on how to improve the system, one of which is NOT to make it harder to get a patent. I could see shorter protection periods, limits on licensing fees, tax incentives to reduce licenses, free licenses for business that make less than X amount per year. What ideas do you have?

You know, I've been up for 3 days straight, and I'm extremely hungry, yet my Think still runs laps around your Think.

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