Please believe me when I tell you that I didn't want to do this. I can assure you that my time would be better spent on other matters, and yet here I am, typing away on this silly "blog". The quotes around "blog" should indicate that I said that word, in virtual terms, with great disgust. If I were standing before you, you would have been concerned that I might vommit. Fortunately, as I lean forward, my eyes squinting and my mouth quivering, only the word "blog" comes dribbling out. I hate that word. Can someone please tell me who thought of it? Yes, I know web+log equals blog, but it's terrible. I wouln't characterize these online works of art as a web log anyway. Personally, I'm beginning to fall for the term that coined. He's more poetic than I, but he said something to the effect of Blog is Dead. Enter: The Gleak. That sounds more like what I see online. People all over the web gleaking whatever is on their minds, often by accident. This can all be debated at a later date, I suppose.
Stupididness, the concept and the blog, were both born out of the necessity to describe an individual, business, or situation that goes far beyond the word stupidity. Stupididness is pretty much as far as you can go, should you ever be travelling down the path of depreciating intellect. The tiny sliver of mental health that you have at that point is all that keeps you intact. If you take one more step into the stupid, from what I understand, you melt.
There is an old wives tale that says stupididness is drawn to genius? I never beleived my momma when she told me that as a youngster, but I may have to call her and apologize. I happen to be the smartest person that you know, and stupididness wants me more than desparate, hornball mySpacers want mySpace member: Breasty McSwallow. So, in an effort to halt my receding sanity line, I'm going to give my stupididness examples to you, my adoring public. You will, thank you very much, reply to my gleaks with praise and agreeance. You may also, at times, be given the opportunity to contact those that have been assaulting me with their stupididness, asking them to either turn away from the stupid, or end their own lives.
Stupididness likes the dark. Together, we can shine the brightest beam of intellectual light generating particles into the moist crevice that stupididness calls home. Won't you join me?
Listen closely…Stupididness hates Patent Trolls. It would like nothing more than to slay at least 4 beasts of patent every single night. What are the implications of this deep rooted hatred? Well, if you hate patent trolls, that means you're on the same side as Stupididness, and that makes you and me very bitter enemies. The truth is, I hate you.
|Let me back up, educate the ignorant amoung us, and then step forward once again. What is a Patent Troll? Webster tells us that a patent troll is an individual that obtains patents, but never has the intention of turning the idea into an actual product. A patent troll does not want to run a business. A patent troll wants to curl up in a cave, or a bramble thicket, tuck his patents away, and wait for some unlucky, altruistic company to accidentally step on his patent trap, and then H'BLAM! He sues the pants and/or skirt off of the unsuspecting entity. Webster says this is wrong because it goes against the very premise of the patent system, which is to protect inventors and increase innovation. Oh, and when I say Webster, I mean that short black kid that had his own show in the 80s, not like the dictionary guy. I think Webster was so outspoken about patents because an invention that would have given him normal height was being held hostage by a patent troll.|
|Now, if you say you hate Patent trolls, some of us won't be able to hear your words. Instead, we'll be tormented with visions of the form of you (Plato) making sweet love to Stupididness. So don't! Also, if you hate patent trolls, you must, by extension, hate music trolls.||Webster says that a music troll is an individual that has an amazing vocal gift and can sing such a tender tune that even Whittney would put the crack pipe down and give a listen. Oh, but the music troll doesn't write music. No, they just sit around waiting for someone to write them a tune, they belt out a few notes, and then they sit around and watch the money flow in.|
Then there's the lawyer troll. They don't pass the barr exam for their own benefit. Rarely do they ever represent themselves in court. No, they sit around and wait for someone that needs their services to pay them huge sums of money, and then they might find the time to do the whole "practicing the law" thing. I'm not sure if that metaphor really works, but I don't care. I'm pissed!
Leave the damn trolls alone. Some people are good with their hands, some with their feet, some with their mouths and lips, others are attractive, some are manipulative, while others are good at inheriting large family fortunes or marrying rich wives, but the patent troll is all about the power of the mind and ideas. Let him make a living, eh? I must insist. If I don't stop you now, your hunger will only be stimulated when you devour patent troll. Next you'll be longing for the delicious taste of illegal alien invader Mexicans, and then homosexuals, lesbians, and abortion lovers. I may disagree with those lifestyles, but they, like the patent troll, deserve not to be eaten.