Stupididness hates Patent Trolls

May 20, 2006 at 2:16 pm (abortion, amos xmos, blog is dead, criticize, gay, gena gershon, george michael, gleak, hillary clinton, homosexual, illegal immigrants, innovation, jackie chan, john kerry, lesbian, melanie griffith, mr. wizard, myspace, new kids on the block, nkotb, patent, patent troll, pink, small business, stupid, stupididness, tom cruise, Uncategorized, vanna white, webster, whitney houston)

Listen closely…Stupididness hates Patent Trolls.  It would like nothing more than to slay at least 4 beasts of patent every single night.  What are the implications of this deep rooted hatred?  Well, if you hate patent trolls, that means you're on the same side as Stupididness, and that makes you and me very bitter enemies.  The truth is, I hate you.

Let me back up, educate the ignorant amoung us, and then step forward once again.  What is a Patent Troll?  Webster tells us that a patent troll is an individual that obtains patents, but never has the intention of turning the idea into an actual product.  A patent troll does not want to run a business.  A patent troll wants to curl up in a cave, or a bramble thicket, tuck his patents away, and wait for some unlucky, altruistic company to accidentally step on his patent trap, and then H'BLAM!  He sues the pants and/or skirt off of the unsuspecting entity.  Webster says this is wrong because it goes against the very premise of the patent system, which is to protect inventors and increase innovation.  Oh, and when I say Webster, I mean that short black kid that had his own show in the 80s, not like the dictionary guy.  I think Webster was so outspoken about patents because an invention that would have given him normal height was being held hostage by a patent troll. Webster, the patent troll authority
Now, if you say you hate Patent trolls, some of us won't be able to hear your words.  Instead, we'll be tormented with visions of the form of you (Plato) making sweet love to Stupididness.  So don't!  Also, if you hate patent trolls, you must, by extension, hate music trolls.  New Kids on the block - Music Trolls
Webster says that a music troll is an individual that has an amazing vocal gift and can sing such a tender tune that even Whittney would put the crack pipe down and give a listen.  Oh, but the music troll doesn't write music.  No, they just sit around waiting for someone to write them a tune, they belt out a few notes, and then they sit around and watch the money flow in.

 Then there's the lawyer troll.  They don't pass the barr exam for their own benefit.  Rarely do they ever represent themselves in court.  No, they sit around and wait for someone that needs their services to pay them huge sums of money, and then they might find the time to do the whole "practicing the law" thing.  I'm not sure if that metaphor really works, but I don't care.  I'm pissed!

Leave the damn trolls alone.  Some people are good with their hands, some with their feet, some with their mouths and lips, others are attractive, some are manipulative, while others are good at inheriting large family fortunes or marrying rich wives, but the patent troll is all about the power of the mind and ideas.  Let him make a living, eh?  I must insist.  If I don't stop you now, your hunger will only be stimulated when you devour patent troll.  Next you'll be longing for the delicious taste of illegal alien invader Mexicans, and then homosexuals, lesbians, and abortion lovers.  I may disagree with those lifestyles, but they, like the patent troll, deserve not to be eaten.


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